1.) Windows Vista
This speaks for itself. Windows Vista is like having unprotected sexual relations with a bimbo. Someone who looks absolutely radiant and sexy, but has the intelligence and functionality of an exceptionally backwards squirrel, potentially carries STDS, and always assumes to be smarter than you.
Vista makes sure to tell you about every single change it makes in the system with flashy annoying pop-ups, refuses to accommodate past 3 GB ram, has a slow and clunky file browsing, has the unique ability to crash on demand, randomly lets bizarre error messages that only tells you to click okay pop up, is still an entry portal for a load of nasty viruses, and many more idiotic things that will make you want to hurl your PC through a Microsoft officer's window.
2.) Getting stuck in traffic on the one day you can't be late.
It takes a special brand of will power to contain this kind of frustration, especially if you're behind a ten-wheeler truck filled with coconuts and a little old lady in a beat up car driving at 25 mph in a four lane road with heavy incoming traffic.
The truck is frustrating but you dare not honk at it to speed up because it is much bigger and can kill you either by slamming into you or raining coconuts on your windshield. Getting stuck behind the old lady is frustrating because she's an old lady, and vexing her by calling her slow is about as appropriate as kicking a puppy.
Next time you're doing something important, always remember the law of pessimists everywhere “If something can go wrong, it will.” Thanks Murphy.
3.) Not remembering someone's name, especially if it's already at the tip of your tongue (Then remembering it an hour after the person has left )
How many times are we guilty of this? If I had a dime for every person whose name I forgot, I'd... have a lot of dimes. Yeah. Seriously, anyone who remembers everyone by name either has to have a hyper enlarged frontal lobe or is Professor Xavier. You can remember their faces, the colors of their shirts when you first met them, the way they talked, but you cannot remember their name.
When this happens, you have no choice but to cover up for your pathetic memory with your hopefully superior charming skills, and hope that he/she doesn't see through you and your fakery. Make up to it by excessively saying his/her name next time you meet, making it clear that you are deeply aware of his identity.
4.) Being second best
The world never had much time for the second best. Sometimes, second best is worse than not having placed at all. People will always be obsessed with the idea that they could've been the best if only they fixed this, exerted effort on that, slept with this or generally did a little more than they did. It's that haunting, maddening possibility of the things that could have been. Every loser of any championship of any sport or game experiences this. Nothing brings about regret and self-blame like being in second best.
5.) The word “Nothing”
Guys all over the world angst over this little word that never means what it really means. Every person, woman or man has, at one point of his/her life, had wished that the opposite gender came with an instruction manual. Either that or wished that the opposite gender is something that an instruction manual can encapsulate completely. How we often wished that God was kind enough to inscribe the laws governing gender psychology in an ancient tome made of stone when he made man and woman, but as it is, men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and no amount of clichés can ever add up to the things we still don't know about the other gender. That last sentence just about captures the entirety of the clarity of each gender's understanding of each other, which is to say, as clear as mud.
Guys know that nothing usually means they screwed up in some way and they have to find out what exactly by themselves. Women know that “nothing” said by a guy means exactly what it means, therefore there must be something else he isn't saying. We can't have evolved that much, if the human race has been in existence for thousands of years and still don't know the answer to nothing.
motilium
copegus
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