A tattered parchment was recently discovered stuffed inside a Southwark premium lager beer bottle at the northern end of Kangaroo Alley. After carbon dating for authenticity and extensive study by the top scientific minds available it is reasoned that these are the musings of a curmudgeon who smokes too much, drinks too much and spends way too much time napping on the sofa with his dog.
I don’t particularly enjoy parting with two Jackson’s and a Lincoln to fill up my gas tank but it is hilarious to hear folks complain about the high price of gasoline while standing in line at Starbucks eager to pay $4 for two ounces of coffee, some milk and foam.
Next time you are in Las Vegas debating whether you should drop $35 on a cigar consider this; the most expensive cigar is a limited edition Cohiba called the Behike, it equates out to $420 per stick.
The most expensive bottle of wine on record is a 1787 Chateau Lafite once belonging to Thomas Jefferson that sold at auction for $160,000. That is some expensive vinegar.
That $4 cup of coffee from Starbucks is beginning to look like a bargain.
Samuel Adams sells its limited edition Utopia beer for $100 per bottle; however a gentleman referred to simply as Mr. B. paid $2,595 for a beer in a Hong Kong bar. It was charged to his credit card and subsequently paid. I hope he at least got a kiss from the barmaid.
The current record holder for the most expensive painting is Vincent Van Gogh’s ‘Portrait of Dr. Gachet’ which sold for $82 million.
Still fretting over whether you should buy or lease your next motorcar, perhaps I can interest you in a 1967 Ferrari P4 for a cool $15 million? Sorry, CD player not included.
If you are more of the sea-faring type then perhaps you should consider the Annaliesse, a 280 foot mega cruise ship; it can be yours for a mere $103 million and is considered the most expensive private yacht.
Forget flying the friendly skies, own them in your very own $260 million FA-22 Raptor. Arguably the world’s most expensive jet.
Well, my cigar is spent and I can see the bottom of the glass. Where’s Max? I feel a nap coming on.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
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